Funny Quotes

Enjoy funny quotes filled with wit, humour, and playful observations about life. Share them to lighten the mood, make someone smile, or add laughter to an ordinary day.

Explore 71 Funny Quotes from famous thinkers, writers and leaders
Mark Twain Quote - I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. Free

Mark Twain

I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

William Shakespeare Quote - Hell is empty and all the devils are here. Free

William Shakespeare

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

Mark Twain Quote - I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. Free

Mark Twain

I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Mark Twain Quote - The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. Free

Mark Twain

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

Albert Einstein Quote - Women always worry about things that men forget; men always worry about things women remember. Free

Albert Einstein

Women always worry about things that men forget; men always worry about things women remember.

Albert Einstein Quote - Black holes are where God divided by zero. Free

Albert Einstein

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Maya Angelou Quote - My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. Free

Maya Angelou

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Maya Angelou Quote - I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass. Free

Maya Angelou

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.

Mark Twain Quote - If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Free

Mark Twain

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.

Albert Einstein Quote - I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking Free

Albert Einstein

I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking

Albert Einstein Quote - When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity. Free

Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.

William Shakespeare Quote - The empty vessel makes the loudest sound. Free

William Shakespeare

The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.

Albert Einstein Quote - Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy. Free

Albert Einstein

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

Mark Twain Quote - In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards. Free

Mark Twain

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

Mark Twain Quote - It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Free

Mark Twain

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

Albert Camus Quote - Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. Free

Albert Camus

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.

Abraham Lincoln Quote - If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. Free

Abraham Lincoln

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

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