Humour Quotes

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William Shakespeare

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

DevilEmptyHellHumourOne Liner

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Mark Twain

I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

HumourLetterTimeWriting

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Mark Twain

I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

HappenHumourLifeLiveTerrible

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Mark Twain

The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.

DogFunnyHumourInsultLearningOne LinerPeople

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Albert Einstein

Women always worry about things that men forget; men always worry about things women remember.

AlwaysHumourMenRememberWomenWorry

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Albert Einstein

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

BlackGodHolesHumour

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Lao Tzu

Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know.

Human NatureHumourPhilosophySpeak

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Maya Angelou

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

AttitudeCompassionHumourLifeMissionPassionStyleSurvive

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Maya Angelou

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.

GirlHumourInspirationalKickLifeLoveWorldYoung

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Albert Einstein

I never made one of my discoveries through the process of rational thinking

CreativityDiscoveryHumourInspirationalThinking

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Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.

GirlHumour

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Mark Twain

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

EducationGodHumourIdiotPracticeSchool

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Mark Twain

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

AppearanceDoubtHumourMouthRemoveStupidity

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Albert Einstein

Never memorize something that you can look up.

HumourOne LinerScience

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Abraham Lincoln

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

CoffeeHumourPleaseTea

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Albert Camus

We are all born mad, some remain so.

BornHumanityHumourMadnessOne Liner

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Albert Camus

I don’t want to be a genius-I have enough problems just trying to be a man.

GeniusHumanityHumourMan

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Albert Einstein

When the solution is simple, God is answering.

GodHumourOne LinerPainProblemSolution